Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
