Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
