Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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