I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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