You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
