Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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