I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize