i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
we're making bets on your personal life
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
