38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
