Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize