OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
