you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize