don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I am available for nakedness
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
