so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
