Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
