So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
