I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
