Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
