We won't sleep together?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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