she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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