I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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