"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
