I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
