I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
