i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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