I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
