I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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