so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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