We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She announced her abortion via fbk
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
