Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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