You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
