We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
