I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
