I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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