I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
