Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
this hospital has no fireball
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
