Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
