what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize