I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
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