she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
