Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
