I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
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