You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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