Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize