Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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