I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
