google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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