The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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