its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
