I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
