Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
