It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
