You can't motorboat a personality
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
