My first STD was from a foam party
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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