Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
what day is it and did you see me today?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
