she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
