So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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