i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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