I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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