I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
