I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
