NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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