i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
