How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
That's when you crack a 10am beer
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize