Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
