if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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