Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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